More of the same

Okay, here we go again.

On Tuesday, we were finally able to get the VCUG done. We went in, and because the ER doctor was able to get the barium out a couple weeks ago, Simon had the VCUG. Everything with that was normal.

On Wednesday morning, we had an appointment with the Pediatrician, Dr K. Scott had taken the day off work so he could help with the kids. We all went in. I don't think the doctor really even looked at Simon. He knew we had an appointment scheduled with the GI doctor for later that day.

I had called two weeks ago to get an out of network authorization to see the GI doctor. Dr K's office never got it. They saw that there was already a referral in his chart, and decided that he didn't need another one. They were wrong. They told me that it would take a couple weeks to get the authorization, and we wouldn't be able to see the doctor until we had it. We already waited a couple weeks after requesting it. I was a little angry.

Finally after a few hours filled with phone calls and frustration and holding my tongue and trying not to scream at everyone, we were going to be able to see the GI doctor. Dr D was going to make an exception because he wanted to see Simon.

We went in for the appointment, and Dr D was great. He looked at all the records and results of all the tests already done. He gave us the results of the Celiac test, NEGATIVE! He examined Simon. He ordered more tests. He said that Simon is gaining weight, but not fast enough. He wants Simon to see a Geneticist.

We went and had more blood drawn. More tests and more appointments. My baby is not growing, and we don't know why. The doctors seem to be fishing now. They don't know, so they just order test after test. When do we stop? If all the results keep turning up negative, do we keep looking, or do we stop?

Maybe he is just a small baby. Maybe he is going to be built differently than my other boys. Maybe he is normal for him.

I know it is all in God's hands. I don't like waiting. I don't like not knowing. I keep reminding myself that I have four beautiful boys. I have an amazing husband. I have so many other things to be thankful for. I need to stop complaining. I need to stop dwelling on things that are not perfect in my eyes. I need to start thanking God for the things I have been blessed with.

Who am I to think I deserve anything I have?

I am nobody! I am nothing without Jesus!